


If Your Body Matches What Your Eyes Can Do - Crack Fic

by Fear_Itself



Series: The Chronicles of Shitass [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Bottom Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Crack, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack and Angst, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Sorry, Implied Sexual Content, Jealous Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Jealousy, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Romance, Top Shitass (Video Blogging RPF), What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27247540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fear_Itself/pseuds/Fear_Itself
Summary: Dream understood his entire world... well that's other than Shitass, a man who was too complex for even his IQ. Will he be able to trap him as he has done all his life or will he be forced to succumb to the legend himself?(This is a crackfic I'm so sorry I don't actually ship real people but it was too funny to pass up on. Yes, it's in my TommyInnit oneshot collection but that's just where I put all my McYT stuff. He isn't in this story don't worry lmfao)
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Shitass (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: The Chronicles of Shitass [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1990327
Comments: 23
Kudos: 82





	If Your Body Matches What Your Eyes Can Do - Crack Fic

**Author's Note:**

> Characters: Dream, Shitass, George, Sapnap
> 
> Location: DreamSMP
> 
> Possible Triggers: Dream x Shitass ironic/crack ship
> 
> (Y'all passing up on an OTP :/)

~~~

Dream was a powerful being. Having made grown adults fall to their knees in fear, he held siege to this land. There was nothing he couldn't do... well at least to the common eye. Someone had surpassed him in skills and he couldn't wrap his head around him. Shitass. Adorned in blue and red clothes that just worked and black void-like eyes that he could get lost in, Dream wanted the mysteries of this man all to himself. Dream understood everything around him, he was just that intelligent. And one way or another, he was going to have Shitass around his finger. So inviting him into his SMP, he challenged him.

"Hey, Shitass! Wanna see me flirt?" Everyone had a breaking point, perhaps jealousy will show his true colors. He was silent. He didn't get it. Why was he always silent. Was he mute? Tugging George over to where Shitass could hear, he gave a wink. "Oh, George~ are you villager? Because I'd put you in a frick chamber ;)"

"...Clay what the hell?" Whispering in his ear, he dropped his tone down.

_"I'm trying to make Shitass jealous just play along."_

"Ok no, I'm not feeding into this."

"George just say you'll go on a date with me."

"...I'll go on a 'date' with you."

"Ahah! Take that one shit- ...WHAT THE FUCK?" Dream's heart suddenly shattered. Sapnap's hand was intertwined with his true love's, children at their feet and shiny rings on their hand.

"You went and messed it up again Dream! Now he and Sapnap have been in a dedicated marriage for the past 40 years with multiple kids and Shitass is planning on retiring!" Tears threatened to spill from his eyes. The plan backfired and now he felt empty and lonely. Lost in his anger, he banned everyone from the SMP other than himself and Shitass, that all too overwhelming smile plastered on his flawless face. God, what wouldn't he give to be as perfect as him?

"What games are you trying to play Shitass? Do you just want to hurt me? Because goddamnit you did it. Satisfied!?!?" He didn't respond, only staring back at him. "TALK TO ME SHITASS PLEASE AT LEAST DO SOMETHING! I CAN'T WITH THIS SILENCE!" He chuckled. A shiver went down Dream's spine.

**_ "Oh Dream~" _ **

Shitass's voice... it was just so velvety. "Y-yes sir- I MEAN SHITASS, WHAT A DUMB NAME AHAHA!" His finger began tracing down his chest making him involuntarily shake. Hot breath on his neck, he trembled in Shitass's arms. He was so persuasive with his body language alone. What could he do to him? 

_**"Wanna see me speedrun?"** _

~~~


End file.
